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On the other side of the Atlantic, today saw the publication of the first memoir by one of the music world's most beloved, reviled, iconic, and controversial figures of the past three decades, in the shape of Morrissey's Autobiography. As both the front man of the Smiths and a still-thriving solo artist, Steven Patrick Morrissey has never shied away from speaking his mind, but the book provides the most unfiltered look inside the legendary musician’s head to date.

Originally due to be published last month, the release was briefly cancelled after a fallout between the singer and Penguin Books, only to get back on track (albeit with Morrissey’s insistence that it be published as a Penguin Classic, a label normally reserved for more traditionally canonical authors). There are currently no plans for the book to be published in the U.S., but Vulture's overseas correspondent got his hands on a copy earlier today.

And it seems to be fair to say that the book is exactly what you’d hope for and expect from a memoir by Morrissey: witty, honest, navel-gazing, indulgent, erudite, beautifully observed, infuriating, catty, occasionally moving, and almost entirely lacking in self-awareness. But who would have wanted anything else? To tide you over until the inevitable U.S. publication, below are 25 particularly Morrissey-esque highlights that demonstrate why, for better or for worse, it’s not a book that anyone else could have written.

On his entrance into the world:

"Naturally my birth almost kills my mother, for my head is too big, but soon it is I, and not my mother, on the critical list at Salford's Pendlebury Hospital ... Once I am discharged from hospital, my sister Jackie, older by two years, is interrupted four times as she attempts to kill me, whether this be rivalry or visionary no one knows."

On being told about the birds and bees:

"It was [childhood friend Anthony Morris] who told me the reason why girls fluttered around me at St. Wilfrid's, and what it was that they wanted. He told me this because I didn't know, and even when I knew, I was less interested than when I didn't know."

On choosing a profession:

"All human activity is fruitless when pitted against the girls and boys singing on pop television, for they have found the answer as the rest of us search for the question. I will sing, too. If not, I will have to die."

On his education:

"St Mary's Secondary Modern School on Renton Road in Stretford may indeed be secondary, but it is not modern."

On being truthful to men of the cloth:

"'And what do YOU like in life?' [the priest] asks me, ready to play the patronizing game at my expense in order to raise a giggle from the rest of the class, thus rendering him popular for a few perverse minutes. 'Mott The Hoople,' I answer truthfully."

On school sports:

"Two years on, at Stretford Stadium I represent the school in the 400 meters dash (of sorts), legs muddled, face wet with rain, I clamber in at fourth place. My father is standing by the finishing-line. As I approach him he says 'You didn't win,' and he looks away, and life decomposes in a bucket. Perhaps I didn't win but it didn't help anyone to point it out."

On falling out of love with Roxy Music:

"Roxy Music will drop quickly from the emotional radar soon, as singer Bryan Ferry announces that his favourite food is veal — second only to foie gras in savage cruelty."

On hating it when his friends become successful:

"When my old friend Simon Topping [the frontman of Manchester band A Certain Ratio] appeared on the cover of the NME, I died a thousand deaths of sorrow and lay down in the woods to die."

On Johnny Marr's musical preferences:

"Johnny despairs of things as they are and wants to change them, even if, beneath the grit and growl, his favorite group of all-time is [sixties folk-jazz band] Pentangle."

On the record label Rough Trade:

"Whatever it was that Rough Trade were, they were not a hip label, and by their appearance, Rough Trade personnel in the early 1980s need never have feared sexual assault."

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